Mimi 19 weeks

So, we thought we would share a little insight about our private squabbles. Here, we're happy to say, is a list of names we've both agreed that we can do without for the little one. In order of rejection:

Jingle J'Engle
Mojo Manchini
Hairy Krishna
Shakyamuni
Che
Fidel

We're working on boys' names, and aren't having much luck. Des suggestions pour le nom d'un petit garcon?

As to girls' names, we think we may be close to selecting one.

And the baby's last name? Well that will have to, since we're unable to agree without seemingly divine intervention.

Quogue on a weekend

We're in Quogue today with mom and dad. A dreary cloudy day but still refreshing for 2 new yorkers craving the open air. More later!

Mimi at 18 weeks, 2 days 

18W2D

That's 18 weeks and 2 days. I'm really showing. I can't lean forward very well against the kitchen table - my belly's growing. Every day I feel the little one at least a dozen times. Little tickles for now, though I know that the kicking is going to grow.

I've gained 10 pounds, but then recently lost 2 pounds! But the doctor reassured me that it wasn't abnormal. The third trimester is when I should be eating for at least 2, if not 3!

We're planning on packing some of our clothes and books that we don't need tomorrow, in preparation for the upcoming move. We'll probably move out June 1st - only 2 1/2 months away.

Leaving New York is both a blessing and a bit of a sad departure for the two of us. Dean's adapted well to the city. I've never really felt at home here, though this year has probably been easier for me, if only for the fact that I've been able to focus on my own business ventures and independent consulting, as opposed to working for Gartner.

It looks like we'll be settling first into a rental in San Francisco, and continuing our house hunt when we're living in the City. And, by the looks of it, we'll have about 6 1/2 times the space that we have now (yes, we're truly living in a closet - picture your large walk-in closets, folks - that's what we have a bed, desk, sofa and small kitchen in!). Before we go, we'll throw a couple of spring rooftop parties (the real reason we subletted this little top-floor studio). We'll post some photos of this little NYC pad - a typical setup in this crammed and energetic city.

Well, back to my bible: "Your Pregnancy Week by Week". Great book ;-)

Charcoal painting of an African Idol .... or Fetus?

When I first looked at this little thing, I wasn't sure if Michelle was showing me archival photos of antique statuettes from the Congo. The "Columbus Circle OB/GYN" label gave it away, though. I guess I've had a hand in this little beast - it must have my ego since its head is twice the size of its body!

It's amazing to see a little creature growing in the monthly photos we seem to have of it. And then to look at Michelle's belly and to think that it's moving around in there, swimming, bumping, kicking, peeing. Unimaginable for a father, and all I can do is to place my palm on her belly and to feel her slow rhythmic breathing when she's asleep and hope for a little kick to reward my patience.
Charcoal titled "African Idol"

Gringos - Costa Rica 2005

Since I haven't yet figured out how to post a photo of either myself or of the two of us in the upper right hand corner of this blog, I'll add this one here for identification. This was on our way to Cano Island for some snorkeling in the first week of January off the coast of Costa Rica. Beautiful weather- and just after this photo was taken, we saw a sea turtle swimming just below the surface. Michelle was thrilled.

Expectant Dad

I’m an expectant dad. Michelle is now 17 ½ weeks (at last count!), and we just saw our 3rd set of photos of the fetus. Impressive little beast – looking more like a Fula ebony statuette in there (strange coloration from the Siemens sonogram) than anything Michelle and I created. “Oh, look it probably has your nose,” says Michelle gleefully. “And those little fingers….they’re so CUTE!”

It took the OB/GYN 20 minutes to snap a picture of the little fetus, as it was moving around so much and

OK, so we’re nuts. We don’t even have the real thing and we’re gaga already – and a bit disgusted at the shape of this little one growing in her belly.

FIRST TOUCH for me of her belly when there was some movement inside. It’s 17-1/2 weeks old. Wow. What a neat feeling.

The Happiness Factor

One of the remarkable things in life is the amount of time we spend seeking what I call “the happiness factor”, a state of perpetual bliss if you will, or of relative peace amongst all the stress and discord that plague us in our daily lives.

That search, for many people, is a struggle.

I feel it’s a struggle – and sometimes catch myself wondering exactly what it is that I should or shouldn’t be doing, or dreaming about what I could or couldn’t be doing. This blog is about that continuous process of seeking, creating, and simply accepting, which at the heart of it, I’m learning, is the ultimate test in life – call it an acceptance, or merely a poise in doing what you’re doing. A satisfaction in simply being.

This blog will take Michelle through the wonderful (and painful!) process of childbirth, and will carry me into fatherhood in about 5 months. What I’ll be exploring in this blog – maybe even increasingly, as I lose sleep, get bags under my eyes, and lose all sense of what is mine vs the baby’s or “ours” as parents, is that happiness factor.